At age 69, were certainly way beyond the procreation stage. Were currently stuck at #3, but I have a feeling #1 is gaining ground and will ultimately prevail. When you first met her you were in an OTHER zone. I completely recovered and had to start my own business to share in the household expenses. I would leave and strive to take care of her financial needs until she is able to take care of herself or meets a man her age or older who is happy as a roommate. Married 36 years, neither of us had sex with anyone including each other until our wedding night: It was tough, but my choice. He has no interest. goodluck! Arguments and maltreatment are nothing to put up with. I pay 90% of the bills, cook most of the meals, and clean (wash my own cloths). Id go get some attention somewhere if I could. It literally saved my marriage and maybe my life. The good news is: there are plenty of ways to banish problems in the bedroom and rekindle the fire with your wife. Holding on and hoping we can work it out, for now Im giving him space. Quit excusing inexcusable behaviors by your partners. What to do about it: Don't jump to conclusions. My wife has no desire for . bcb Back issues and menopause have completely removed my interest in sex. And LATINA. One reason your wife never initiates affection may be stress related. Do we cheat and risk hurting our wives and husbands? I have a simple fix for all this. That way both of our sex drive would be fairly low Im a good looking hard-working big hearted man and I immediately told her you better well I dont wanna hurt you. Fully. 2. If your wife seems distant, take a step back to analyze where you may have gone wrong or why you feel like she cannot trust you again. Harley, yeah I believe men are more likely to complain then women in places like this. Really, I may as well just be rooming with a friend at this point in the game. She knows this is a psychological problem and doesnt reflect how I feel about her. Then, let the pouting begin. Before the ink was dry on the marriage license, shed already decided she was done being nice. We are happy for the days she has some energy and good enough oxygen levels. But this woman kept me in her heart and mind for fifty years. . I self reflected and starting cooking again, especially on her late nights. Career-wise, shes doing better than me, so hes likely out-of-my-league anyway. I was faithful to my beautiful redhead for 27 yrs, and I never got tired of making love to her. Stayed for the kids (gone now) and because I dont WANT to be divorced but I am so painfully alone. all about love and couple relationships in their varied forms. Now I definitely feel more like the odd woman out after reading all those men complaining about lack of sex!I am 45 had a hysterectomy 3 years ago, so menopause was forced on me.I still feel like a horny B*** latina! She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere. It isnt. If a couple's sex life continues to follow a routine that doesn't tend to feel good for the woman, she may lose interest in having sex entirely. Rob you are right on, God set this up with every male, as we get older the desire goes down but not away. Research published by the National Marriage Project found that couples who make time for date night experience benefits, such as, , improved communication skills, and injecting excitement and. I dont think I would like my son or daughter tell me what to do in the bedroom. We have been together since the 80s and there is No ONE else I want to be with. Also, look into the idea of responsive desire and make sure you understand it. If I was better looking and could make the time to find a willing partner Id do it because sex has dwindled a lot in the last ten years. Ive tried suggesting a date, but its hard to find something she wants to do or doesnt cost too much. I realized after marriage that I married her for the wrong reason, more of a rebound to fill something torn from me so abruptly, the love for my previous family(wife and children). But my wife was not. That happens with prostate removal and my father had that and my mother didnt have to have sex with him anymore. She told me a few years ago that she felt sorry for me because of her lack of sexual desire. If your wife thinks she may have vaginal atrophy, I hope shell see a knowledgeable doctor or pelvic floor therapist to get a diagnosis and treatment plan that can alleviate her discomfort. I appreciate the fact that my wife has stayed with. he is very persistent. Perhaps there's a desire discrepancy between you, whether in general or just at this particular time in your lives, and you're both very aware of it. You begin to see the problem. I decided to work the night shift and made it my thing. I think the resolve here is to tell the parent who is confiding in you to seek professional help, and then bud out. You know what I dont need to know the answer. That can happen because of a lack of communication, a lack of understanding or just misinterpreting what their spouse is thinking. In the end, she doesnt want it and I have stopped caring. Behind heart broken!!! I love her. There is no hope for this relationship. If only you could want . On the other hand, another reason your wife is never in the mood may be related to menopause. I could care less what he says or does. In other cases, when the in-laws are constantly meddling the resentment may make it seem like you have an unloving wife but shes actually just frustrated at the lack of privacy, says Gopa. When your husband keeps getting fired and he sits on the computer all day and rarely does anything around the house but bitches and complains about this or that and he puts you down and calls you names. Absolute rubbish! Home Articles Marriage Sex 4 Things to Do When Your Wife Wont Touch You. So I cheat. Wow!!! Its incredibly painful!!!! I love him and still desire him (even though he lost his hair and gained a gut!!) Im 47 and this happened to me. Its maddening! I wish I could be fulfilled without sex, like many women as they age. I agree 100%. Childbirth is a life-altering experience thats not just hard on a womans body but also her mind. Important note: The only way to find out exactly why your wife is not interested in sex is to ask her yourself. And Ive been caught too. He doesnt even like to kiss. What the heck! Dianne. . Here's her full guide to overcoming the sexual avoidance cycle, plus how to support a lower-libido partner. And pressure is a total libido killer that can set off a cycle of sexual avoidance, according to AASECT-certified sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman, M.A. I lve my wife more now then when we got married. More men need to leave their wives when they wont have sex with them. Why do men who want more sex end up insulting someone who has a pet? Still in love with Vicky. Women provide fertility, nurturing, and resourcefulness. At that time my job became demanding. It breaks my heart because we are so happy together in every other way, but I need the physical intimacy and to be desired and sex is something I enjoy and I feel like he is withholding it. Right now Im going on over three months since shes wanted sex. I suggested just me doing him and he close his eyes and touch me nope. . Lets separate then.NO! And the sex with my current partner is always strained because she doesnt show any real passion or desire to let go. Well, I am more than happy to say that our marriage has lasted for over 56 years and I know that we are still together mostly due to the fact that we are best friends. If your wife wont have sex, it could be that she just doesnt feel close to you anymore, and the idea of being intimate makes her feel too vulnerable. Two lovers need boundaries to choose their path. I have been married since 1983. So, your wife has told you that her ex didn't treat her that well, yet she chased him. The question is, will we accept that fact, those facts, and act upon them in honorable fashion.? My wife and I have been in couples therapy now for about 3 years, and while it has helped our relationship a lot, nothing going on sexually. Nowadays due to the requirement of Adult Mens Sex Toys, different kind of online retailer store like Lovecubby available for a variety of high-quality sex toys for men & women that everyone can love. It is incumbent on each of us, male and/or female to strive for the new, the invigoration, the secure, the calm, the exciting, the passionate . What to do about it: "You need to take the stress out of sex in three steps: Challenge your expectations, communicate effectively with your partner, and take the pressure off by using new physical experiences," Zimmerman advises. Too bad, b/c I think Id be better for him than she could ever be. Her work has been featured at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere. , checking in with yourself is also good. Men must risk themselves, including sacrificing their own lives if necessary, to protect the women and children in their care. Please keep your eyes open for signs she is interested in someone else, such as being secretive, avoiding you, or hitting the gym. Our sexual problems are much more complex because I have accepted the fact that she really wants to be intimate but the cost is too high. So, youre going to break up a marriage of 43 years, because you dont want to masturbate. Ive been reading a lot about this and not come across anyone with a solution apart from no proper sex or divorce. My current wife was 49 and I was 54 when we met and sex was twice a day for over a year, When she proposed to me, I raesoned that she was a good friend and sex was more then satisfactory, so I accepted. If your wife wont have sex with you, try not to jump to accusations, as this usually only makes things worse. To see my wife go direct to the Phone on the first morning home and second morning home was very upsetting. You may find that your perception of the situation is extremely different than theirs . It is possible that a lack of sex may have shifted your focus on physical intimacy whereas a lack of emotional intimacy may be driving your wife away from the idea of sex. I am desperate. I hope this is helpful to someone. I have rekindled a relationship that ended over fifty years ago with a woman I dated right before I met my wife. I appear to have some value to her as a friend, roommate, handyman, gardner, earner, companion, but not in any intimate way. After 8.5 years in my sexless marriage, I almost found the phrase Youve both gone so long without sex together funny, though it is far from that. We are still asexually active and every time we see couples enjoying sex, it puts extreme sadness in our souls because we are faithful to our partner. I love her more than anything in this world. In my case our problems are ever deeper in that ours is a Love /Hate relationship. I think it was William Shakespeare who pondered what an irony it was that desire usually so outlasts ability. I dont have many helpful things to add but I am getting on with life, there is more to do than sit around wallowing in sexlessness. It has been 5 very long years for me. Plus, a lack of communication might have created this distance. Therapy will help you identify the issues underlying the lack of sex, teach you how to communicate more effectively, give you strategies for regaining your intimacy if shes willing, and tools for coping if shes not, and offer you the boost you need to work on your relationship. If there is resentments in the home then it will not happen. An endocrinologist told me he had never seen that before. We have tried everything ( I mean everything ) but nothing seems to work and Im getting desperate! She refuses to talk about it. It is one of the classic signs of a cheating wife and if your gut tells you somethings up, it may be worth investigating it a bit further. But wasnt it lovely when we were young and lithe and our bodies would do anything we asked of them? Thats whats even more hurtful. Right. I work full time, do personal training after that, and run a business.