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80 Retirement Quotes - Inspirational and Funny Retirement Sayings Last updated: February 17, 2023 Retirement quotes are a fantastic way of making the retiree in your life feel recognized and appreciated. The right one may even get you out of a speeding ticket. Dislike Like. Pinterest. Henry Moore, Musicians dont retire; they stop when theres no more music in them. Your email address will not be published. picclick.com. 23. Show me a sample retirement speech! There was no other cop on the beat. If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. He or she who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement. After retirement, a 30 minute walk is the best thing to do for your ailments! 21. 7. Think about retirement as being two six month holidays per year. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said. This is because he was being tracked by the police for chop lifting. There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Why did the coffee call the police? find on a particular financial institution, service provider or specific product's site. I wish i can also retire right now so that i don t need to call anyone boss. Nellah McGough runs the day-to-day operations in the Southern Living Birmingham office, responds to reader questions and comments, manages freelancer contracts, and invoices. 24. 1. Free, Quotes about money, retirement savings and investments. #6 Dear husband, good luck on your next adventure together with me! Voltaire, The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. You Shall Always be a Soldier of the Law! Fred Rogers The best is yet to come! Oliver Wendell Holmes Often when you are at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else. Hello to a new adventure. Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman, Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summers day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. Cop: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?. This webpage contains inspirational retirement quotes and funny retirement quotes. If you are searching for funny retirement quotes, this list is for you! The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow.". Retirement means that you'll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. I guess he wants a rematch because hes been following me for about 45 minutes. Police Officer Gift Plaques & Custom Awards for Sale. Capitalize on what comes. An officer stops a man for speeding and notices he's not wearing his required prescription glasses. You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. As we express our gratitude, we must never The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Why did the police arrest the turkey? You cant win until you do this. What kind of dinosaur works for the police? You've obviously missed it. 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Unknown, "There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want." Gail Sheehy, "Retirement, a time to enjoy all the things you never had time to do when you worked." Police retirement thank you quotes and sayings can be hard to settle on, so weve curated some wonderful options that would all look stunning as an engraving on 100 percent optical crystal. 64. A woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a female police officer. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 37. What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot? I am graduating. 1. This song shows that even goodbyes can be hellos to a new part of life. Congratulations. Dwight D. Eisenhower, Planning is bringing the future into the present so that you can do something about it now. Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too. A personalized crystal plaque engraved with a heartwarming message to the retiring law enforcement officer will mean the world to that public servant in your life. Retirement is not impossible, get ahead with these tips to get ready! For Your Loyal and Dedicated Service Oftentimes, the words about retirement are close to depressing - they remind the retiree about the approaching senility or the loneliness of old days. My wife gets mad at me because I always take things literally. Before you quit, try. It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different. The police caught a person erasing peoples criminal records. What do you say when your friend wants to hear a really cool joke about the police from you? It is the beginning of the open highway." The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. As you plan retirement, figure out what to say in a retirement card or write a retirement speech, you will enjoy reading funny retirement quotes, inspirational retirement quotes and much more about this wonderful phase of life. When a good cop leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are jealous, some are pleased and yet others, who may have already retired, wonder. The real measure of your wealth is how much youd be worth if you lost all your money. 11. The police are trying to say I assaulted a guy with a sheet of sandpaper. 52. Get great tips for managing money in retirement, What happens if you really do run out of money in retirement, 22 smart and easy ways to boost retirement savings, 4 ways to find meaning and purpose in retirement. Retired. Unknown, People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou, I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. "May all the years ahead bring you great joy and relaxation.". 10. Congratulations on your well-earned retirement. What do you call a snake that informs the police? Are you married to a police officer? 39. An officer stops a man for speeding and notices hes not wearing his required prescription glasses. "Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!". Personalized Crystals to Celebrate Life's Moments 2023 DIYAwards.com. I am not. The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. If you look at what you dont have in life, youll never have enough. The world needs more police officers like you. Financial planning tools and services to put you on the path to the future you want, Blog Need some retirement card ideas for your co-worker? Unemployed and Loving It. 3. Showing search results for "Police Retirement" sorted by relevance. You're no longer cuffed to a job. Unknown, "Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save." Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I"m home - forever." - Gene Perret " You know it's time to retire when the guys ask you if you're "getting any," you think it means sleep. Gene Perret, "Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Gene Perret, "My father calls acting 'a state of permanent retirement with short spurts of work.'" What would you do if I stole a kiss? And what do they give us? Why was it hard for police to catch the tree bandit? Just buy the haystack. 54. "Congrats on being so tired that you had to retire.". Showing search results for funny police retirement sorted by relevance. I didnt realize you were a cop.. William A. 2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder - are you still looking forward to retirement? Retirement! Women go right on cooking." Sherriff, I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off. Sheriff, "Retirement is wonderful. RELATED: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. Unknown, "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." For myriad reasons, this is a sub-optimal short-term solution to what really is a long-term problem. Sandra Day O'Connor, "I wanted to have more time to play and reflect, but I find retirement more stressful than having a nice, steady job because I have to make decisions about where I want to be." "I'm the police, and I'm here to arrest you. May you enjoy your retirement! There's a retired person in the premises with not a lot to do and plenty of stories to tell! George Burns, Age is an issue of mind over matter. For more information about our senior living facility, SLS Communities or to schedule a tour, please call us today at 623-544-4777. 36. 5. Whether you're looking for retirement quotes for coworkers or for a friend, these quotes are perfect for writing in a message or card. 32. Unknown, "When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Chaparral Winds is a retirement facility in Surprise, Arizona offering assisted living, independent living, and memory care services. However, the following funny retirement quotes for coworkers will help to make the retiring person smile by . What does it look like? the woman asked. Oliver Wendell Holmes, The best is yet to come! 38. You're no longer cuffed to a job. Know what you own, and know why you own it. Sign up for Scary Mommy's daily newsletter for more stories from the trenches. in all your future endeavors! 30. For example, some Americans start a second career during retirement. Robert Delamontague, "Retirement is the only time in your life when time no longer equals money." You Never Swerved From the Path of Duty. Abe Lemons, "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to workand then we retire. comprehensive, reliable. 33. 7. Off the clock - for good! The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money. Thats becuase it was a shooting star. George Burns, People ask me what Id most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. However, my alarm clock and I have several years before we can reach that point. Because it runs through your jeans. Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it, and others do just the same with their time. The police told me they'd throw me in jail the next time they caught me stealing board games. Soni "It is better to live rich than to die rich." - Samuel Johnson Charles Lamb. A word of warning. Unknown, "I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box." All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again! Dave Ramsey. Source Unknown, Gods retirement plan is out of this world. Why are policemen such great volleyball players? 62. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. Why did the sheriff lock up her boyfriend? Scott Elledge, Retired is being twice tired, Ive thought first tired of working, then tired of not. Retirement Farewell Quotes for Coworker. The Wedding. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Inspirational Retirement Quotes Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. Which dinosaurs were the best policemen? Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do. retirement savings in an IRA or qualified plan such as a 401(k). What's five times five?" "Twenty five," says Martin. 40. Its not how much money you make, but how much money you keep, how hard it works for you, and how many generations you keep it for. Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Thank You for the 28 years you gave ~ Ernie Harwell. Margaret Mead, A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age. Plan the celebration with a personalized retirement plaque. They serve and protect. "John Wick: "I'm workin' on it." - John Wick: Chapter 2. Unknown, Expect the best. Jerry Seinfeld, "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. We keep a photo of you in the office just remember that you now are in your garden, drinking your coffee and we are doing your job man! My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman for Halloween, told me that I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. Farewell Tension. West, You can never have the comeback if you dont have the retirement. Chael Sonnen, I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself. Walt Mossberg, Golf is played by 20 million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. Jim Bishop, A lot of friends complain about their retirement. Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. I said, Scissors. Funny retirement teacher retirement party police sarcastic police humor funny jokes facebook status it is what it is funny facebook status jobs sarcasm smart alec. We strongly recommend that you seek the advice of a financial The police had to comb the area. Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer? Thats what he is here for. What do you call a clairvoyant who escaped from prison? Facts about financial success later in life! They suspected it of fowl play. may Gods blessings be upon you Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers, A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. . Well done on Crossing the Bridge you now can just sit and relax. Retirement's the most wonderful thing. "The 50 Funniest Quotes about Retirement, via, https://www.curatedquotes.com/funny-retirement-quotes/. Being a Boomer, my friends are beginning to retire or at least thinking about it. Police Quotes Police Humor Police Officer Cop Wife Police Wife Life Police Lives Matter Be My Hero Leo Love Law Enforcement which is why so few can do it well. Voltaire, The question isnt at what age I want to retire, its at what income. Take Without Forgetting. Gilbert K. Chesterton, Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. Unknown, If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as to work. Officer: No, I am an undercover detective. Tourist: So, why are you in uniform? Officer: Today is my day off.. Cop: No. Man: What about all these other cars? Cop: They didnt ask!. They aren't going to get rid of me that way. If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. The information presented is based on objective analysis, but it may not be the same that you J. So I do it three or four times a day." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez To me, a job is an invasion of privacy. Unknown, He who laughs last at the bosss jokes probably isnt far from retirement. Unknown, There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. Robert Half, Retirement: its nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese. Gene Perret, You cant retire from being great. Unknown, Some of the best memories are made in flip flops. Kellie Elmore, We make a living by what we get. Please dont go now. Weve also compiled some police officer happy retirement messages and wishes if youre looking for an inscription with a little more flexibility. Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted. A state trooper pulled a farmer over on a rural road and said, Sir, do you realize your brother fell out of the car several miles back?, To which the farmer replied, Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!, This article was originally published on Oct. 29, 2019, A Man Went Viral For Refusing To Give Up His Spot On A Ride To A Crying Child, An American Mom Shares The Utter Magic Of Danish Playgrounds. To You was Entrusted the Honor of the Force. Cop: Im going to follow you to the nearest police station. Me: What for? Cop: Ive forgotten the way. Tommy Cooper, Driver: No, officer, its Hi, how are you?'. Vince Lombardi, "The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off." Keep in touch . Something pretty thats just the surface. Funny Retirement Messages for Police Officers You've served and done your hard time, now you can enjoy freedom! What do you call a female police officer playing guitar? "Here's to a well-deserved and happy retirement! 14. 13. Check out our funny police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. Browse all famous retirement quotes below, or select a specific topic from this list: The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. See more ideas about funny sayings quotes. 53. How Much Do I Need?, Net Worth? 13 Funny Retirement Quotes to Write in Retirement Cards Lindsay Tigar Updated: Jan. 13, 2023 Retirement is a happy, celebratory time where one can finally reap the benefits of multi-decade.